Visiting Graves2021.08.11

It’s the week of Obon. Not the actually Obon (13th-15th) yet, but as aunt M (mom’s sister) doesn’t have a day off during Obon, so she and my mom and I went to my other aunt’s grave and my mom’s side family grave today.

I’ve liked visiting graves since I was a kid. I remember visiting our dad’s side family grave on a daily basis with my sister when we were in elementary school,  on our spring vacation. I don’t go there that often any more, but I don’t hate it.

Recently I watch some medical shows both drama and documentaries and I’m amazed by how our body is so complicated. I can’t help but think that how it works is miraculous.

I’m so grateful for just being alive and every little thing around me are wonderful and full of miracles and interesting things. And I’m satisfied with the life and days I have. But on the other hand, I keep asking my self if I’m doing what I want to do as I’m healthy and lucky enough to (basically) do anything. When I met some fortune-tellers or psychic people, I was told that “You want more”.

It’s not completely a bad thing, but I don’t want to keep feeling “This is not enough”. At the same time, I don’t want to shut the voice and forcefully convince myself that there’s nothing I want. So… I guess it’s another things to balance. The satisfying feeling and the desire for something.

I’m always happy and I won’t give up what I want or accomplish. What is the “what I want or accomplish” is another story to tell..

I don’t know why this ended up like this from visiting graves, but that’s what I thought today.