As I couldn’t find a time slot for going to Mori Art Museum but at night, I couldn’t decide if I go or not until I read the concept again. It was about the meaning of living, about the soul, which I’ve been thinking more after my aunt’s death. The artist had gone through cancer treatments and gave birth to her child, which also pushed me to see the exhibition.
When I saw my aunts’ face at the ceremony, it’s cliché but I felt that she was not here anymore, gone somewhere. I don’t like to do that because it makes me realize the fact.
I’ve heard about her condition going worse and her daughter and my mom went through so many things for these 3-4 months, and I’m thinking about how I live and die more than before with reality. What I can conclude so far is that it’s not that bad to die with the disease only if we know what treatment to choose and what decisions to take.
From the book I read at a book cafe in Tokyo, I learned that we need to die (or live) as a human with dignity and it is likely possible if there are someone or something the person spiritually relies on. (I can’t put it well as I’m still processing it).
I might want to talk openly about death because it would lead to a better life. Whichever way I will take, I don’t want to live like dealing with my life day by day, don’t want a life in a rut, which is more difficult than I think. Days pass before we notice. We tend to take living every day for granted. But even if so sometimes, I’d try remembering how it is precious to live, eat and laugh, and cherish every relationship with people around me.
What I can do to live and end my life well?
あとrelationship with SNSs も再考したいねん