PINE TREE TRANSLATION

お正月はいい感じに「だめなひと」になりました。
少しずつback to workです。

While I was staying at mom’s (practically mom’s parents’, and she lives with her mom), mom & grandma were yelling at each other all the time. Mom doesn’t like everything grandma does, which I can understand, because she’s old and messing around.  But it seemed to me that both of them is making it worse.  I couldn’t hear any kind word between them. Unless either of them or both of them show their kindness, it’s just a vicious circle and I know it happens because they’re mother and daughter. I’m pretty sure we can do better, me and my mom, though.

What’s hard for me is she’s worrying about when she gets old, or she gets problems, or health issues, no what’s more, she’s so pessimistic about her life. Not always, but it was so sad to be there, watching her and grandma fighting and cursing, and I couldn’t say anything nice to them. It was just like mom and dad’s mom and me. I was just protecting myself from being hurt.

Spending time with mom was very nice and fun. She was so ready to make me feel at home, which made me happy, happy to know she’s caring about me so much. All the more for it, I felt so confused that I couldn’t tell what I’m doing is right or wrong. She’s a kind of person who wants to do everything as she wants, so living in neighborhood might be the best, I guess. In the distance where I can visit her at times. Maybe dad should live near, too. (Surprisingly, she said she’s ready to help him when needed)

But I haven’t given up getting married and having children yet, too. Thing is, I’d better find a way that I can pursue what I want (ESS & translation, going abroad every now and then, etc.) and get married and live near both mom & dad. Phew.

For all those reasons, I strongly felt that it’s better to figure out how to run my business no matter where I am.

Anyway, it was nice New Year’s holidays, knowing mom’s caring about me and so do I. I just keep saying this to myself: Festina Lente.